Devotional

Divorce To Healing – Part 1

God is the only answer for complete healing and wholeness, even when it comes to divorce. Through this post, you will draw closer to God while gaining wisdom on how to handle your emotions and feelings during this difficult time. Journey with me while God continues to bind the wounds and give you greater closure.

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Shock

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30 When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey him. Deuteronomy 4:30

Words can never describe how you are feeling. “What just happened? How? When? WHY?”

When you first hear those words “I want a divorce” or are blind-sided by papers served to you when you least expect it, no words do it justice. Feelings that you have never experienced before are flooding over you. You can’t even get the words out because… “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?”

At this time, you are filled with every emotion and a million thoughts that race through your mind. It is a time when you need to just stop and gather yourself. Even though you may just want to do something crazy and ask for forgiveness later, don’t do it!! Just stop, drop to your knees, and roll to the foot of the cross!!

No advice at this moment will do you any good until you realise that there are things going on that you cannot control. There are things going on that need to be analysed from a higher vantage point.

There will come a time when the feelings of shock will be gone and other feelings form. Don’t allow negative feelings to control your actions or reactions.

Right now, the only one who understands what you are feeling and going through is God. He is the only one who can give you peace for your today and your future.

Prayer
Heavenly Father, I have no idea what is going on, but I choose to trust You. I need You now to show me the way. Please bring forth Your true Word, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Identity

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“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

How many times have you filled your mind with thoughts that you know, deep down, are not true? Have you ever felt totally unsure of who you are just because you are or divorced?

The person you are has nothing to do with the events and situations that happen to you. Bankruptcy, strained friendships, and job loss may happen, but you are still you. It does not change who you are. It may force you to change and adapt, but it should not change your identity.

You are not what happens to you; you are the result of how you react to what happens to you.

As devastating as divorce is, you can move forward and grow through it. How you handle every situation from now on is a choice. Make it a positive choice.

A divorce may change how you have to adapt in life to move forward, but it does not change the fact that you are a person that can and will rise above whatever is in front of you.

Know that God doesn’t make junk, and you are a treasure to the One who has created everything.

You are a unique, special, one-of-a-kind creation from God. You are a sum total of what God says about you, not what others or your self-image may say about you.

Prayer

God, help me to remember that you created me and that you love me for who I am. I am your child and may my identity be wrapped in you today, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Blame

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A person may think their own ways are right,
    but the Lord weighs the heart. Proverbs 21:2

One of the easiest things to do in life is to blame the other person. Missing a pass on the football field, causing that business report to be late, or describing your failed marriage can be explained in many different ways.

There are always two sides to every story: your side and the wrong side. Well, maybe not, but it sure feels that way.

No matter what happened, just acknowledge that all people make mistakes. When it comes to your relationship, some mistakes can be more visible than others. Even if you are the only one who seems to be trying to do the right things, blaming someone else for all of the failure in a marriage is just not fair, or correct.

Does it mean they are off the hook? Does it mean they should not be held accountable? Is life and everything that happened fair? Nope. Are you 100% innocent in everything you have said and done? If you are being honest, no.

Taking the emotions out of dealing with any sin that affected the marriage and led to divorce is one of the biggest hurdles for people. Emotions can turn facts into weapons of undesirable destruction.

Don’t spend your time blaming the other party. Spend time understanding your shortcomings and how you can overcome them as you move forward.
Don’t let the facts control your emotions. Let the facts stand alone.

Prayer
God, help me to see that I can let the facts be shown for what they are. May I know my faults and help me change what I need to change, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Anger

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26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27

One of the first and most destructive emotions that is experienced in any failing marriage is anger. Believe me, you probably have a perfectly good reason to go off on your husband or wife. They cheated, abused, abandoned, or destroyed that which no one has a right to destroy. You have the facts and it is time to let it out!!

Let me help reign yourself in. As much as you have a right to blow up, is it the best thing for you to do right now? Are you in a volatile situation? Are the children near you? Would you be in danger if you just let them have it?

You have every reason to be angry, but righteous anger is still just that; anger. There comes a time when you must heal from the pain of the hurt and learning to process the anger you feel is a large piece of the healing puzzle.

Some people will bottle things up and then explode. Others may just live a life of being resentful because they have not worked through it. Wherever you are at on the anger scale, do not hesitate to ask God how He can help you.

God gave us emotions, but He also gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us with discernment on how to manage it. Healthy anger management is vital to your healing.

Survival may depend on how you handle your anger. Every war has its battlefield, some of which may leave you without cover and vulnerable to the enemy. Don’t give the enemy any kind of advantage.

Prayer
God, I need your help right now to deal with the wounds that have hurt me. Take my anger and bring me wisdom on how to speak, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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