“The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry;” Psalm 34:15 (NIV)
For months, I have prayed the same prayers, yet they seemed to go unanswered. Or though that is how it seems.
So each time I speak to God, I remind Him (not that He needs reminding) not to forget me or to forget the needs and desires of my heart. I feel He has a right to know I am still anxiously (very anxiously) waiting for Him to act and that honestly, I am getting a little annoyed at His seemingly lack of swift action and attention.
Have mercy, on me, oh Lord.
May last year, I had a song in my head ” Shallow” from the movie “A Star is born”. At the time I thought the repetitiveness of the song in my mind is God talking to me, and it was. You can read the blog post here “Move far away from the shallow”. In short, I wrote about how easy it is to connect with each other over technology, but most of those connects are shallow and superficial at best. God designed people to be in community, in fellowship with one another, and yet it can be so difficult to find and make genuine, deep connections with people.
A recent family fight has brought the importance of God’s design into sharp focus, and now, the song, leaves a new message on my heart.
My Mom, who passed away in April 2019, certainly was the glue in our family. She was so faithful and burned with joy for Christ. During her illness, our family pulled together like never before. After she passed, I am saddened that my family drifted so far apart. No matter how much we were trying to put on brave faces and be normal and continue our closeness, something inside me always whispered “This closeness, this relationship with my family is not what God intended, it feels forced and unnatural”. As mentioned earlier, a recent family fight brought this into sharp focus more than I could ever imagine. In a large way, we have hurt each other, some have betrayed the other and hidden things from each other. Now, when confronted, has literally pulled my family apart.
What is God telling me?
The message I hear from God and the message in the song about finding deeper, real connections 1. “Take a break from family drama”. 2. “Purposefully seek new relationships in which deeper, sincere and real connections are made with people who seek God, who seek relationship with Him, seek people who will listen and help, without judgement, and be truly connected with God and His people”.
“He knows, every hurt and every sting; He has walked the suffering. Let your burdens come undone. Lift your eyes up to the One who knows. He knows.”
God is gently pulling me out of a deep sleep, a deep depression, because He had something simple, yet so important, to tell me: He does see me … He hear my prayers … and He cares. And above all, He knows.
For too long, my wife and I have lived in isolation. So while we have had each other (and our fathers living with us), we have been isolated from the world and fellowship and friendship with other Christians. Literally, we have spent many many many days closed up in our bedroom binge watching what ever was on TV. I realise now how unhealthy this is. We have no real or genuine relationships with others, we’re in this life alone (except God is always with us of course), but alone in the sense that we have no one but each other.
My heart quickens at the thought of hearing from my heavenly Father in such a sweet and gentle way. In the midst of running the universe, God sees fit to remind me that just because I don’t yet know how He is at work in my situations, didn’t mean He doesn’t know exactly what is happening.
I have cried many days and many nights and felt complete hopeless. I might still be able to write blog posts, hoping they help others, but I have not been able to apply what I write in my own life. This is all going to change!
WARNING – To those who have wronged me, God knows.
My Bible reminds me about God’s attentiveness to our lives. I came across today’s key verse that reminds us: Even when we think God isn’t watching, He sees us. When we think He isn’t listening, He hears our prayers.
Scripture tells us, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight” (Hebrews 4:13, NIV). There isn’t a day or a tear that God doesn’t know about. He sees whatever we’re going though … and He knows.
God’s Word also reassures us the Lord hears His people when they call to Him for help (Psalm 34:17). God knows every prayer spoken, and He hears the cries of our hearts.
The struggle to believe God sees us often signifies a problem within our hearts, not His heart for us. And yet, doubts don’t make us broken believers, just broken people living in a world where things break our hearts — and God’s.
But there’s no greater joy than seeing throughout Scripture that the Creator of the universe deeply cares about what we’re going through. Hope and peace can be ours when we believe that in God’s timing and in His ways, He will answer.
Through this recent drama, God has helped me refocus on my faith and remember although He may not have answered my prayers immediately, I can trust He knows.
If you’ve ever wondered if God cares about what you’re going through, take comfort today in letting yourself believe He does.
Lord, help me remember You not only know what is happening in my life, but You have a plan. Fill me with peace and the ability to trust You as I wait. Lord, I ask Your forgiveness for how I have behaved in the past and most recently – Your forgiveness is all I need, and I trust and believe I have received it. Let me step out in faith, reach out to other people who seek You and find genuine relationships with them and with You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Let God take over, and your peace will be restored.
I fear myself when I am angry. I fear for those in the crosshairs when I’m angry. I want to escape. Escape into the deep end with Christ.